How to Weigh Family Advice Against a Doctor’s Advice

Well-meaning loved ones often want to share medical advice about what treatments to pursue or avoid. But when their recommendations differ from your doctor’s, who do you listen to?

Two Keck Medicine of USC experts share their advice.

Jennifer R. Marks, MD, general internist, Internal Medicine

It should always be the patient who has ultimate agency over their medical decisions — not a family member, nor even their physician. Ideally, your decision should be driven by good clinical evidence and accurate data that is applicable to your specific situation.

It’s best to make sure your medical information is based on proven, objective facts rather than relying on emotions or opinion-based advice.

If you’re feeling conflicted about opposing advice, from a family member or other source of information, the best thing you can do is be open and honest with your care provider and let them know the context of your concerns.

Your care provider can only address the conflicts you share with them. Once they are aware of your concerns, they can help ensure you have the right information and insights to help you make the best possible decisions for your unique medical circumstances.

Umair U. Ghani, MD, medical oncologist, USC Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center

Knowing the source of your information is essential. As your doctor, I rely on evidence-based medicine to make recommendations. I use clinical trial data, research findings and years of experience to design a care plan tailored specifically to your condition.

By contrast, advice from family or friends — though often shared with love — may not be appropriate for your particular diagnosis, stage or medical history.

That’s not to say you should automatically discredit all medical advice from family members. Sometimes family members do have valuable insights or observations to share that can be helpful to you and worth discussing.

The most important thing you can do is be open with your doctor about the other advice you’re hearing. That transparency allows us to work together to determine the safest and most effective plan for your health.

In some cases, your doctor can organize a family meeting to address everyone’s questions together. This can help ensure everyone is on the same page and that decisions are made collaboratively.

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